Letting Go

My dad sometimes went to the “shop” at the barn to work on various contraptions and sometimes I was lucky enough to be able to go with him! I LOVED to go to the barn, dig in the dirt, play in mud puddles, watch the baby calves, talk to my poppa and climb on the tractors. I was well aware of the bull pen and the fact that it was enclosed by an electric fence. As a little girl, I didn’t know what “electrical shock” was, but it sounded really scary to me…not to mention the fact that my mother had told me a thousand times to “stay away from the bull pen, because the electric fence might shock you and you might die.” (Side note: She also told me that if I touched a cat I would get cat scratch fever and die.) Needless to say, I kept my distance…well, all except one day.

For some reason on this particular Fall day, my dad had to go into the bull pen to do something for my poppa. Because I was afraid of the bull myself and had been told he was so mean, I was concerned about my dad being inside the pen. I watched the bull intently, as if I were going to step in the pen and fight him if he made a move even remotely in my dad’s direction (I don’t know where I was going to find a cape). I’m not sure what the bull did, and he may have even twitched because a fly had landed on him, but out of fear for my dad, I reached out to the fence to hold on and yell at my dad to “watch out!” In my moment of concern and without thinking about my mother’s words of warning about “electrical shock”, I learned what it meant. I didn’t only grab the fence, but the fence grabbed me. I cried, screamed and pulled and pulled, but the fence would NOT let go! My dad, being the hero that he is, ran to my rescue and after a few seconds, or what seemed minutes, he was able to pull me away from the clutches of the fence. I was crying hysterically (and shocked at the same time that I didn’t die) and hugged my dad so tightly because I was so afraid and in a lot of pain. All 10 of my fingers were blistered and hurt so badly it hurt to touch anything. The blisters remained for a couple of weeks and were a constant reminder of the pain and fear I had experienced in the blink of an eye.

How similar life experiences have been since then when “letting go” has been so difficult in so many situations. Whether it be letting go of a loved one who has left this world or just stepped out of my life, someone who has hurt me with words said or actions made, maybe I’ve been in a situation where I have become complacent, etc., etc…I can cry, scream, pull and pull, but it’s impossible for me to let go alone. Many times, the pain seems to linger. My Heavenly Father, being the hero that He is, runs to my rescue and pulls me from the clutches of the struggle. While my “blisters” are only temporary, the permanent scars in His hands are the only reminder I need that He is the only One who can pull me away from the clutches of bondage and pain and allow me to “let go”. “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9